Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Richard Dean Anderson

January 15, 2012

I used to watch Stargate a lot when I was younger, and even last year I gave watching all the seasons a go with my house mates. I saw the first of season 1, Stargate Universe. Not only did I not like it, but there was a guy in the first episode who I thought looked familiar. turned out it was General O’Neill. Someone got a bit chubby. Shame the Azgard didnt have anything to help out.

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Tampax: The New Vodka Shot

January 5, 2012

Brace yourself for horror, because this is going to make your vagina hurt by just thinking about it.
There is a new trend that is literally gushing over the nation’s youth (Not sure if the pun was intended): The vodka tampon. I really thought that it couldn’t get any worse but then I came across this and really got lost. Here is what Bliss Tree had to say about this:

“Probably one of the best dumb ways that college students get drunk, the vodka-soaked tampon sounds like a perfect urban myth…except that it’s true. And it’s not just girls that use it. Which means both men and women are willing to insert alcohol into improper orifices to get drunk without drinking. Unfortunately, because the liquor is absorbed through the bloodstream (and not the stomach, which comes with safeguard like vomiting to keep you from having too much), the risk of alcohol poisoning is much, much higher.”

I was just thinking, most teenagers go out, get drunk and have sex right? So what happens if this is how they got drunk? That poor boys penis is going to burn like a bitch and then smell like a hospital for the next 30+ hours.

Seriously, how is something like this even trending?

New Year: New Start?

January 4, 2012

Everyone on Twitter and Facebook have had one thing in common over the past week: “2012, new year, new me”.

This has been a common annoyance for quite a lot of people, mainly my older friends and by older, I mean mentally. The ones who don’t bull s**t and don’t whine about anything. Anyway, what is the big deal with every year the same handful of people saying they’re going to change and be a different person? We all know who they are, we all have them on our feeds and we all know what the outcome will be. Give it a month and I put money on the table that they either A) Start whoring about again, B) End up messing up the relationship they fought oh so hard to get back (you know, the one that you’ve heard them moan about so much over the past 2 months) or C) going back on ALL their resolutions and getting back into their bad habit’s or being shallow.

Everyone who’s doing this should take a big step back and have a long hard think about what they are telling the world online. I don’t think half of them realise this but the decent half of the world are laughing their virtual asses off behind their screens at all these promises of change and then going back to their old selves.

Take baby steps people, make simple resolutions which aren’t just going to help you, but maybe help others around you and make them feel better and if so, please keep them. You’re just providing those who have blogs material to post on… and of course Failbook. They love that stuff.

Worlds Widest Slip & Slide

January 3, 2012

Words cant describe how much I would love to go on this! Actually… not sure how long I would last before being pulled away in an ambulance as I’ve never been on a slip and slide. Still, would love to do it!

Happy New Year

January 1, 2012

Happy New Year and well done to all of you who 1) are still awake at this time, 2) able to read this amongst the amount of alcohol you have drunk and 3) have survived this long. 

As I have read on many blogs on WordPress and statuses on Facebook and tweets on Twitter, 2011 has been quite a sucky year. I feel like the whole year I’ve been going into the fridge and taking a glass of milk only to find after the first… 2-3 glasses that the milk is actually off. So far I’d like to announce that I have already got to a good start as I’m actually getting a lot more clients for graphic design, which brings my onto my next point: You peeps should totally click that like button on my page! I know many of you may not have seen my work but clicking that button lets me know you care about my blog at least. You doing this will bring a tear to my eye, and make it look good for other clients as well as making me look popular amongst you internet people

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read, I hope you have a good new years day, and not much of a hang over.

2011: What To Remember

December 31, 2011

I have a strong feeling this is going to be a pretty damn long post, so I’ll keep the talking to a minimum and get straight to everything that was good/bad throughout 2011.

I’m sure you all know this little sweet. Osama bin Laden, the man who has been on many peoples hit list and been searched for for near enough a decade was found and killed. One of the crown pieces to 2011.

Protests and riots were something that have have stuck out a lot over the past year. I live in Manchester in the United Kingdom so the ones in the UK were visible from outside my window… actually I don’t mean literally out my window but I was out in the city centre  when it all kicked off. I think the scariest thing I saw/heard while in the riots was a guy on the top of a car wearing a hoodie shouting “lets take back the city!”. Of course this wasn’t going to happen but still, that’s not something I want to experience again.

Earthquake/Tsunami in Tokyo on the 11th of March. Ahh yes, another step closer to 2012, but that’s a different post. There have been a lot of disasters like this. If you would like to read more on this event I found a decent article here

Obama releases his birth certificate on the 27th of April. Look, I dont follow politics and I know I’m not one to question the way a country runs and its rules, but why do you need proof that someone was born in the country to run the country? Surely you want the country to run smoothly and for it to be a good place for everyone? Someone from another country can do this you know? They dont need to have an American flag behind them waving patriotically.

 

The Royal Wedding on the 29th of April. I remember before this happening I wasn’t really interested in it, nor was I interested in weddings, but then I woke up earlier for some reason that morning and my room mate was watching it with this emotional look on his face (this is a action gamer for xbox) so I sat and watched it with him and I honestly thought it was the cutest wedding ever. By ever I mean its the only one I have seen haha other than a generic film one.

Meme: Y U NO

December 30, 2011

Found these and thought they were pretty good and so so true. I’m pretty sure you will agree with me on most of them. Let me know what your favourite is. Oh me, trying to be social with my followers…

The Simpsons Through Time

December 30, 2011

Was stumbling and I came across these. The first few were alright but then as I got further down I gradually found them to be more and more awesome haha. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did

Apollo 18: Just No

December 29, 2011

Space films are my favourite kind of film. I can’t really explain why, but when they are done right (and right being that showing on screen how empty space is as well as how it would make you feel if you were in a dire situation millions of miles from Earth) they are flawless. Now, let me talk to you about Apollo 18. I didn’t go to see this in the cinema because I wasnt a fan of Cloverfield. The whole recording first person kinda film doesn’t do it for me, so I waited for it to come out on DVD and for someone other than me to buy it so I can ask them if I could borrow it.

Did anyone else switch on the movie and within 30 minutes of watching just about work out that it was going to be aliens? I mean, c’mon it was just silly. It was good in the sense of EVERYTHING but the storyline. The effects, camera work and editing I loved and would like to adapt some of those styles into my own work, but the storyline was diabolical.

I still think that the best space movie out there at the moment is Sunshine. Of course, this is just my personal opinion, but still, it’s a damn good film. It’s a shame that the director of Sunshine let himself down when he made 127 Hours a.k.a “Watch This Dude For 2 Hours”

Cannibal Stunt

December 29, 2011

This has got to be by far the sickest thing I have seen on television. By seen, I dont mean I have watched it, but fact that it was recorded and meant for television is sickly. Instead of re-writing what is already on the Sky News website, I’ll just quote what they said and add my part on the end.

Two Dutch presenters are expected to provoke outrage with a macabre television stunt in which they eat each other’s flesh in front of a studio audience.

Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno both underwent surgery to have a small piece of muscle tissue removed for the grim stunt.
Mr Zeno had flesh taken from his abdomen, while Mr Storm is understood to have had buttock muscle tissue cut out.
A chef then fried the flesh and the pair ate it in front of the audience.
The stunt features on the BNN television show Proefkonijnen – which means Guinea Pigs.
The pair try to answer “stupid questions” by taking on unusual challenges.
The footage does not actually show the moment they eat the flesh but it does show it being cooked.
They have so far refused to say how the snack, which they ate without any salt or pepper, actually tasted but admitted there was “nothing really that special” about it.
Mr Storm said he did not regret his decision but added: “It is weird to look into the eyes of a friend when you are chewing on his belly.”
They insisted their stunt was entirely legal in The Netherlands as both had entered into the pact voluntarily.
A lawyer advised the show’s producers that while cannibalism is not itself against the law, the presenters or the surgeon who operated on them could face legal difficulties.
Mr Storm and Mr Zeno said there was no health risk involved as long as their flesh was properly cooked.

[Original post]

I think that’s very wrong. Yes I know its just meat. We are just flesh and bone like the cows, pigs, chicken etc but isn’t this taking it a bit too far? I think its a bit of a stunt just to get their names into the papers. It may be the wrong way about it, but still… it worked.